Friday, 6 April 2018

Waiting for Superman

I have been thinking about Superman a lot in the past few months. He's such a ubiquitous character, it wasn't until I sat down to write this article that I realized just how present he has been throughout my whole life. In spite of this, I've never really considered myself a huge fan, or even read his comic adventures (outside of Superman: Red Son). For the longest time, I agreed with the old adage in Batman versus Superman debates - Batman is a more compelling character, because he can actually be related to. However, a decade removed from The Dark Knight, I'm starting to come to the conclusion that Superman has the capacity to be an infinitely more interesting character than Batman - the key word here being "capacity". There are numerous instances of awful writing throughout Superman's long history, but within that long history there are also some fantastic stories worth checking out.

Take a guess which category this issue falls into.

Superman's ubiquity has also helped inspire a number of other stories in all sorts of mediums, which I feel help paint a far more interesting portrait of the character. For example, I have heard people claim that The Iron Giant is one of the best Superman stories ever written, and I'm certainly inclined to agree. The Giant's arrival on Earth isn't dissimilar to Superman, and the character is often invoked by Hogarth as the sort of moral pillar which everyone should aspire to be. The moment when (SPOILER ALERT) the giant chooses to sacrifice himself at the end of the film reflects back perfectly on the sort of character who Superman is, a fact which is explicitly noted within the film itself when the Giant thinks of the words Hogarth said to him: "You are who you choose to be," to which he simply says "Superman".


Saturday, 31 March 2018

Quick Fix: Be Inspired, You Sheep!

I saw Ready Player One at the movies last night (it was a fun time), but there was one poster in the lobby which really captured my attention:


If you have read my previous posts about the Christian media industry, then you'll probably guess what caught my eye on this. That big, red declaration at the top lays bare the entire reason this, and any other big Christian movie for that matter, gets made: you, as a Christian, are part of an easy-to-manipulate market demographic who will bring in a strong return on a small investment. It's no coincidence that the new God is Not Dead film* came out this weekend as well - Christians often make a big stink about how evil Hollywood is, but studios will still throw them a bone because they are a built-in audience that will run on word-of-mouth marketing and, most importantly, they have money at their disposal. It just sickens me how blatantly they're commodifying faith and how we as a community have turned this into a whole commercial enterprise.

Like, look at those statements. First, gather your church - even a modest church could net you 50+ people, but with mega churches you could have hundreds of people roped into seeing Paul: Apostle of Christ. Again, word-of-mouth marketing. You, as a Christian, are amazing to a studio because they spend way less to make these films and they're pretty much guaranteed to return a modest profit because of how we pressure each other into seeing these sorts of movies that suck up to Christians living in a bubble.

Second, gather your friends and family - this part sickens me the most. To me, this essentially is saying "Hey, you want to evangelize to your family but don't know how? Boy, do I have the perfect product for you..." I mean, hell, it's one thing if you let that sort of thing happen organically, but the fact that you're trying to sell your film on that notion rubs me the wrong way. Of course, this can also be interpreted as "gather your Christian friends and family and go see this", but either way this is just another word-of-mouth attempt to get butts in seats.

Finally, come be inspired together... bloody hell, that is so condescending, and yet, probably accurate for the sort of person who would see this film. It's like the template requires that every Christian movie has to be "inspiring" in one way or another. The Kendrick brothers, for example, have built a career on this concept. Even silly comedies, like Road to Redemption, have to renew your faith and try to proselytize to your unsaved friends who definitely aren't cringing the entire way through this film you forced them to sit through. It is what it is, I guess, but some variety would certainly go a long way, especially considering that most Christian media isn't really made for the people outside that bubble anyway. Perhaps that's why God is Not Dead is not telling you to bring your unsaved friends and family, while Paul: Apostle of Christ is... which actually is making me start to re-evaluate exactly which notion is more disgusting. Ugh. Here's "S.M.C." (aka Sunday Mass Consumption) by Project 86 to play us out...


*...I seriously considered putting quotation marks around the word "film" here.

Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Some Thoughts on the New Tomb Raider Film

It's no secret that I quite enjoy the two most recent Tomb Raider games and the upcoming third game is probably one of the few video games I'm actually looking forward to this year. Despite this goodwill, I had very low hopes for the new Tomb Raider movie, especially after the first trailer was released. However, my girlfriend and I wanted to catch a movie last weekend and ended up seeing Tomb Raider on a whim. I came away more impressed than I was expecting to (at the very least, it is far better than the Angelina Jolie-led Tomb Raider films), but it makes one huge, fundamental blunder near the mid-point which really screws over the rest of the film. Hell, just thinking about it, Tomb Raider could have been great - day I say, easily the best video game movie of all time*. This isn't a review (off-the-cuff, I'd probably give it a 6/10), but more of a lament of what Tomb Raider could have been.


First off, I feel like I should acknowledge that, as expected, Oscar-winner Alicia Vikander does a superb job as Lara Croft. Angelina Jolie was the perfect casting decision for that era of Tomb Raider, but I definitely appreciate this more grounded take on the heroine, and Vikander nails it. She has the physicality and confidence to sell the role, while also knowing when she should be vulnerable as Lara gets swept in over her head (for example, throughout the entire scene involving the plane hanging over a waterfall, the look of terror on Vikander's face just sells the danger and makes it feel far more real than you would expect). The film also does a good job of making us care for Lara, giving us around 40 very solid minutes of set-up to establish her character, motivations and resourcefulness, while also giving us a pretty badass bicycle chase too.

Honestly, the first hour of Tomb Raider is very solid. In this time, we also get introduced to another compelling character, Lu Ren, whose past seems to be entwined with Lara's own. There's a tangible chemistry between the two - not necessarily romantic, but they really light up the screen together, sort of like Lara and Jonah's partnership in the video games. The villain, Mathias Vogel, could have been very bland, but since he's played by the underrated Walton Goggins, he is imbued with a sense of desperation and sympathy where you can identify with him. He is definitely a bad guy, but he just wants to see his family again and will do whatever it takes do accomplish that. He makes for a decent foil for Lara and is certainly a serviceable enough villain.

After the first hour, it's pretty clear that Tomb Raider has all the pieces in place to succeed. Lara's on the island being chased by bad guys, Lu Ren has been shot and captured, that awesome waterfall-to-plane-to-parachute sequence happens, and then Lara is forced to kill her first human being. She feels awful about it and breaks down... and then sees a hooded figure in the woods watching, she chases them down and the movie never gets its footing back. (Let me reiterate here once again: SPOILER ALERT!!!) In a massive deviation from Lara's backstory and history in all other portrayals of the character, it turns out that Lord Richard Croft is alive on the island and has been trying to prevent the villains from succeeding since he disappeared.


This is such a blunder for a number of reasons. First and most importantly, it diminishes Lara's own role in the story in favour of a character who should be, for all practical purposes, a plot point. In most portrayals of Lord Croft, he exists only to provide Lara with a motivation (inspiring her to seek adventure, an emotional investment in her current treasure hunt, an existential emptiness from losing her father in a foundational period of her life, etc). The Tomb Raider film initially follows this pattern, establishing Richard Croft's strong bond with Lara and he proves to be the crux of her desire to set out on a quest to discover what happened to him. His journal notes drive much of the early plot, but Richard himself is more of a plot point than an actual character - hell, the only reason we care about him at all is because Lara (who we already like quite a bit) cares so much about him. However, when he shows up in earnest, he begins to dominate the plot despite still being just a boring side-character. He doesn't change at all, doesn't do much to drive the plot other than an obligatory heroic sacrifice at the end, and basically just takes up screen time from the actual heroine. Michael Phillips' review hits the nail on the head in this regard: "The Lara Croft reboot Tomb Raider isn’t half bad for an hour. Then there’s another hour. That hour is quite bad. It's no fun watching your action heroine get shoved, punched and kicked to the sidelines of her own movie, while the menfolk take over and take turns overacting before expiring".

To make things worse, the twist also ruins other elements of the film which had been working well up until that point. As I said before, the twist comes immediately after Lara's first kill, which is supposed to be a major emotional trauma for her character. However, by having her encounter Richard within seconds of that this, the gravity of the situation is undercut. As far as the film's concerned, she gets over it immediately. In fact, it's bad enough that I wonder if perhaps Richard's role was expanded in rewrites, its inclusion is that jarring. It also doesn't help that as soon as Richard shows up, Lu Ren is sidelined for the rest of the movie, doing little more than helping some of the captives on the island to escape. Furthermore, the film has hammered home that Richard should be a dead a number of times before this twist. Richard states that he is likely dead in his recording to Lara, and even Mathias says that he straight-up killed Richard. When it turns out that Richard is still alive, we're given absolutely no explanation as to how Mathias could have possibly mistaken this. They don't even have hints of his survival beforehand either, he just shows up out of nowhere, so it's not like they even attempted any clever foreshadowing to ease us into the idea. Again, it feels like something shoehorned in awkwardly during rewrites.


Furthermore, we can just look at the video game to see how Tomb Raider could have been better. The film actually makes quite a few deviations from the source material which are net positives (particularly the first act set-up in London), and others which are unfortunate but I can understand (condensing the colourful cast of side-characters down into just Lu Ren and Richard). However, I feel like the film made a pretty big mistake by changing the central crux of Lara's first big adventure: in the film, this is driven by finding Richard Croft, but in the games this revolves around rescuing Lara's best friend Samantha Nishimura. These are both pretty archetypal adventure movie motivations, but I feel like giving Richard Croft so much prominence was the weaker route to take. For one thing, making your female-led action heroine's motivation boil down to "daddy issues" is very cliche and boring. Elena Nicolaou puts it well: "with another Tomb Raider movie about Lara Croft and her father, the gulf between the starkly independent video game Lara, and the daddy-pleasing movie Lara, widens again." Think about how this story places Lara Croft - she is picking up after her father's work and any agency she has within the plot are just directed at that and at her obsession with her father. The film certainly isn't misogynist or anti-feminist (hell, it even passes the Bechdel test, if you're the sort of person who cares about that), but it does undercut itself by making Richard such a prominent figure in a film which is supposed to be all about Lara.

Contrast this with the plot of the game, which (in broad strokes) revolves around rescuing Sam. Lara sets out on this adventure of her own desire and fights to rescue Sam because she cares so much about her. This story puts Lara at the center of everything, where she should be. Furthermore, having a female action hero rescuing her female friend is far less-trodden ground than daddy issues is, and presents far more fertile ground for interesting characterization (if the film followed the game's plot, Sam actually would get a chance to be more than just a living McGuffin, she gets scenes where she works to escape alongside Lara). You could argue that the removal of supernatural elements from the plot makes the inclusion of Sam unfeasible, but c'mon, you could rewrite it pretty easily - Trinity clearly believes in supernatural powers, so it's not a stretch to believe that they could mistakenly believe Sam could be the key to unlocking Himiko's power.

Tomb Raider could have been great. As it is, it's just decent, and most of its issues can be linked back to Richard Croft's survival. Here's hoping that a sequel can correct the issues on display here, but if nothing else, at least the recently announced Shadow of the Tomb Raider should continue to carry on the series' legacy into the future.

*Instead, that honour continues to be filled by DOA: Dead or Alive. That sounds like a joke, especially considering my love-hate relationship with the games, but seriously, the DOA movie is a legitimately fun film that does pretty much everything with a wink and grin. I've been planning on doing a review of it for a long time and one of these days I will need to actually do so, because it's really that good.

Friday, 16 March 2018

Quick Fix: Cold War Two and Fake News

The recent poisoning of former Russian agent Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia with a deadly nerve agent is only the most recent of a long series of events that should remind us that the Cold War has never truly ended. In fact, it makes the plot of Skyfall, where the British Parliament claims that the use of field agents by MI6 is unnecessary, seem positively outdated. The story is still unfolding, but just this morning the UK, France, US and Germany have all condemned Russian and are promising retributive action, while Russia promises that they will retaliate in kind. I imagine that this will all end with some strong words and chest thumping before fading into the background, but I'm more interested about the dialogue surrounding this event and what that may mean.

The following image is a snapshot of the first comments on the CBC article I linked above at the time of writing. I've been checking CBC news throughout this story's development and it is pretty indicative of the sort of comments which dominate these articles:


Articles about the poisoning tend to be filled with pro-Russian voices, mostly with the intention of sewing doubt (you can see one here about not believing that "Russian bots" are real, while another references CIA media manipulation; I have also seen comments elsewhere regarding the lack of proof for Russian involvement). It seems like the sort of thing which is well below the business of a government, but there is certainly evidence that Russia is actively involved in spreading low-level misinformation as part of their propaganda machine. It also isn't even the first time that Russia has assassinated former agents on British soil since the end of the Cold War, which provides further evidence that they deserve the scrutiny being leveled at them now. Some Russian officials are claiming that this is a false-flag operation, which just sews even more doubt in particularly paranoid sorts of individuals. For those sorts, this is equivalent to 9/11 and the American invasion of Iraq, believing that (for some inexplicable reason) liberals want to go to war with Russia and will use this false flag operation to get the sheeple public on their side (this is a narrative which was being put forth during the American election, that warhawk Hillary was going to cause a war with Russia).

This whole situation is making the assertion that we live in a post-truth world more demonstrable to me. The funny thing about all of this is that I have to be very careful to crouch all of my words because there really is no actual proof that Russia is responsible for this attack, despite the likely evidence that they did. Didn't it seem like Iraq had some part to play in the War on Terror, didn't we have evidence of WMDs, back when they were invaded? With all the misinformation and, dare I say it, fake news that is getting sewn out there, it makes it incredibly difficult to determine what is true and what is not.

Friday, 16 February 2018

Best Reese's Products

If you know me personally, then there are two facts about me that are no secret. The first is that I'm a big fan of the Unpopular Opinion podcast network. The second is that a love Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (to the level where my lovely girlfriend spoiled me with a basket full of Reese products for Valentine's day). These two loves happened to cross-over around Halloween when an episode of Unpop's List! Cast! program went up polling on the worst Halloween treats of all time. Obviously Reese's were not on that list, but the hosts did posit their favourite Halloween treats as an aside and it was basically unanimously agreed that Reese's would take the crown if they put it to a vote. This, of course, got me thinking about just which Reese's product is the best of the best and I quickly realized that I could make a Top 10 just off the top of my head if I wanted to. But why stop there? Why not just list every Reese product I've tried in order from best to worst?

For this list, I'm going through the list of Reese's products on Wikipedia and including a couple other products which aren't on the list. Obviously I haven't been keeping a list of all the stuff I've tried through my life so I might have forgotten products if they're not on that list, but this will help jog the memory. I mean, hell, just slap a Reese's logo on your product and you've already piqued my interest, so I've got a ton of material to draw from.

Also, I'm going to exclude the original Peanut Butter Cups from this list. They're just classic, and more than stand on their own.

(Dis-)Honourable Mentions

Reese Mix - These things are a bloody insult, simply from an economic perspective. I'll try many Reese's products, but these are the only one that has tempted me multiple times, but I just can't get over how much they try to charge you for a small package of Minis, Pieces, peanuts and pretzel bites. The worst part is that for $20 you could buy up all the ingredients separately and make your own Mix cheaper than it would cost for an equivalent "official" packaging. Most Reese's products can justify themselves because you're never going to be able to replicate that perfect taste yourself, but Reese Mix is so unnecessary by junk food standards that I can't even bring myself to pay for one.

 World's Largest & Half-Pound Cup - These two products are just gimmicks. I mean, I'm already demonstrating how much I love Reese's products, but c'mon, that's too much chocolate. No one actually eats these things... right? I mean, not by themselves? These are meant for sharing? Like, maybe once on a dare, but never as a regular purchase...? I'm going to just leave it at that before I have an existential crisis.
MegaLoad Bars - These aren't technically Reese's products, but I feel like they're a curiosity that should be mentioned. I've encountered these things in a couple gas stations up here in Canada and while they look amazing, they've never been nearly as good as they look. They're decent and worth the occasional purchase as a curiosity, but could certainly be improved if they actually were using Reese's products instead of generic knock-offs.

Alright, with that out of the way, let's get into the countdown...

Wednesday, 7 February 2018

Retrospective: Jurassic World (2015)

Welcome back to the final entry in the Jurassic Park retrospective! In this entry we we will be looking at the latest film in the franchise, Jurassic World. After years of false starts, could the Jurassic Park franchise rejuvenate itself for a new audience? Read on to find out...

There was a more "traditional" Jurassic Park poster, but this was probably the big one and demonstrates how the franchise's marketing has shifted in the 14 years since Jurassic Park III.

Following the release of Jurassic Park III, the franchise entered a protracted state of development hell. Spielberg and Johnston hinted at a number of ideas that they had for sequels, including pteranodons attacking the mainland as hinted at the ending of Jurassic Park III. However, development seemed to shift away from following-up on Jurassic Park III's loose threads and onto other ideas. One of the first which seemed to gain traction involved the dinosaurs spreading uncontrollably, with Sam Neill, Jeff Goldblum and Richard Attenborough reprising their roles and the lovely Keira Knightley being rumoured to play a grown up Lex Murphy. Stan Winston's studio moved forward with special effects planning, filming locations were scheduled and actors were signed on, and it seemed like Jurassic Park IV was underway.

However, not all was well on the project. A script couldn't be agreed on, perhaps because the central premise was bonkers - pretty much every story that they came up with revolved around some sort of genetically modified dinosaurs being used as mercenaries and wielding guns. Drew McWeeny, who saw an early version of the script, probably said described the situation the best: "I think it’s well-written and certainly inventive, but I also think it just might be the single most bugfuck crazy franchise sequel I’ve ever read, and I’m not sure we’re ever going to see this thing onscreen. It just doesn’t seem possible that Universal would make something this vigorously whacked out." Suffice to say, the film continued to have issues putting together an acceptable script and its production dragged on longer and longer. Years after the fact, concept art from this time in the film's development leaked online, which featured a variety of ass-ugly dino hybrids.


Between 2006-2008, a variety of stories, scripts and filming rumours were bounced back and forth, but still nothing was materializing. Then, on November 4, 2008, Michael Crichton passed away and it seemed like the general consensus was that the franchise should die as well. However, rumours surrounding a fourth film persisted regardless, with Johnston stating in 2010 that there were plans in place for another trilogy.

Sunday, 4 February 2018

Retrospective: Jurassic Park III (2001)

Welcome back to part three of the Jurassic Park retrospective! In this post, we'll be diving into 2001's Jurassic Park III. After the muted reaction to The Lost World and Spielberg's decision to step away from the series, would a new director inject fresh life into the franchise? Read on to find out...


After The Lost World, Spielberg was ready to step away from directing the franchise and instead went on to produce. Joe Johnston instead was brought on to direct after having offered to direct the previous entry. Johnston would later go on to be well-known for The Wolfman and Captain America: The First Avenger, but at the time he was already famous for making quality family-friendly, special effects-heavy blockbusters such as Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, Jumanji and The Rocketeer. Without a novel to form the basis of the plot, a new story had to be written from scratch for the first time in the series history. The first draft of the script revolved around teenagers getting stranded on Isla Sorna, but this was ultimately rejected when Johnston was officially brought on board. The second script revolved around Pteranodon escaping from Isla Sorna and killing people on the mainland and featured a number of characters which would make it into the final film, including Alan Grant and Billy Brennan. This script would have had two main plots - one with Grant and company crashing on Isla Sorna, and another investigating the attacks on the mainland. Production went underway for this version of the script, with sets, costumes and props built to support it. While it was not based on any previous works, some action sequences were inspired by scenes from the novel versions of Jurassic Park and The Lost World, such as the aviary and the spinosaur attack on the river.

However, in an Alien 3-style turn of events, the script was rejected by Johnston and Spielberg only 5 weeks before filming was scheduled to begin, with $18 million already poured into the production and a series of sets which now needed to be worked into a non-existent story somehow. The parallel plotlines were deemed too complicated and the film was ultimately truncated into a single rescue mission plotline, with a script getting rushed to meet the filming schedule. A final script was never actually completed during the production, which is never a good thing to hear (although some films, such as Iron Man, prove that this can still work out in the end).